If I Ruled the World-or a Small Part of It

There once was a man-a man of the shadows. His name was...MR.X!
He went about town fighting crime of all sorts. He was a good and evil man who
enjoyed torturing those who committed crime against humanity or were different
from him in any way...I mean any way at all-if you even had a different name than "MR.X"
with the same capitalization, or if you didn't eat two healthy bowls of Lucky Charms
brimmin' with 9 essential vitaimns and minerals your ass was his.

Man the guy is just ruthless-no remorse-no pity. Anyone, anywhere who crossed his path
in a bad way or a good way or if you didn't cross his path at all-that's it-he's gonna
be comin' to get you and put you in your place. That's it asshole-you're screwed now-
you better watch out. MR.X is coming-he's right behind you with his two bowlfulls of
Lucky Charms brimmin' to the top with 7 essential vitamins and minerals...yes kids-
that's right.

Try new Lucky Charms-nearly overflowing with 4 good vitamins and minerals.
You'll love the great new taste-sweeter than ever...so good it even turns the milk
Lucky and Charmy. And moms-it's good for them too-with those 2 nonessential vitamins.
Kids! remember to look inside the box to get your official "Orange you happy to eat
Lucky Charms" "decoder" "ring." (Your parents put it together.

Not for use by small children.
Some assembly required.
Not available in Nebraska or states ending in "n" or beginning in "C" or if they
have any of the following letters in them: "h", "x" or "q."
Also void where prohibited or not.)

That's right kids- get your ring and be the envy of every kid on the block.
Yes-we figured that you'd like that one. You want everyone to envy you don't you.
You bastard! You try your hardest to envoke others to commit sins against the
everloving Father in Heaven don't you. That's right-why don't you just start a
damn cult and tell eveyone to kill themseles you twisted son of a bitch! What the hell
is wrong with you? That's wrong! Jesus says "no"! So kids, rush on down to your
parents room and kick open the door and shout "I want my f*ing Lucky Charms or I'll
kill you both with my bare hands!" because you do want them. You want them more
than anything in the world. More than true love. More than money, health or simple
friendship. Your Lucky Charms-filled up slightly with iron-are the only thing you need.

That's what MR.X says. And you know that you better f*ing listen to what he says
because he'll tear your arms out and feed them to his sidekick-the psycho whore from apt.54!
She'll kill you on sight so don't look! For Heaven's sake don't look! It'll only
hurt us all. That's why you have to get to level four and get the "superglasses"
or you can type in this code at the main screen "kdiemdj." Please refer to the manual
that came with your Sega Game Gear as to what the "main screen" is. It's on page
twelve right next to the big sea otter! He's loveable, huggable and definately
juggleable-he's Oscar the 12 story Sea Otter! and he's coming to KRIV Fox 26 near
the end of April. Check local listings for time and channel.

This is MR.X-signing off.


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